The 1 name's Sam...Sam Spain, gumshoe for hire. For full the most part, I 1 handle small, private matters...a cheating husband, a skip trace, the 1 occasional missing person. There's no shortage of work for an enterprising guy who's 1 captainstabbin full minute not afraid to 1fullminuteroundandbrown get his 1fullminuteroundandbrown hand's dirty...especially if you carry a big stick 1fullminuteroundandbrown and know how to use it all.
Who's the dame? Oh, that's 1fullminuteroundandbrown my secretary, Thelma. I met minute her about a year ago in a lounge on 1fullminuteroundandbrown the East Side, on the trail of some 1 dip 1 who'd stolen a wallet from Baker, the landlord of the building containing my office. He dangled a year's 1 free rent in front of me if I should find 1fullminuteroundandbrown this guy and get back his wallet, though 1fullminuteroundandbrown he never said 1 what might be in it that was 1fullminuteroundandbrown damned full important. Using my contacts, I followed him down to a little dive where he supposedly 1 did business with a fence named "Dr. Mesmer 1," the featured nightly entertainment
Anyway...on 1 captainstabbin full minute THAT particular day, I captainstabbin lit her cigarette, and asked 1 if I could buy full her a drink all. She looked at me at of the corner of her eye, and, apparently liking what she saw, waved over 1fullminuteroundandbrown the roundandbrown bartender. "Mickey, give me a 1 straight shot of Johnny Walker." She turned to full look at me. "You want somethin'?"
Quickly, we were standing 1 in front of a door marked with a gold star, underneath of which was a neatly lettered sign announcing "Dr. Mesmer 1 - Magician of 1fullminuteroundandbrown the Mind." Thelma knocked twice, paused, and then knocked three times...apparently a pre minute-arranged 1 signal between herself and full the good 1 doctor. Again minute, it captainstabbin set my senses 1 captainstabbin full minute on edge, but 1fullminuteroundandbrown I reasoned it must be some way to let the performer know that he needed to 1 captainstabbin full minute answer the door because it was important.
As he stood to cross 1fullminuteroundandbrown the room, it full occurred to me that this...HE was not what I expected. And, as 1 captainstabbin full minute he loomed 1fullminuteroundandbrown half-a 1-head 1 captainstabbin full minute taller 1fullminuteroundandbrown than me, he struck 1 captainstabbin full minute me as 1 more all suited for professional wrestling than a entertaining a seedy crowd at a run-down gin mill.
"Cccccccuuuuuummmmmmminnnnnnggggggggggg 1!!"
"Spain."
"No, thanks. This won 1 captainstabbin full minute't take long. I've been told that you have, in the past, helped certain people with no other alternatives help 1 captainstabbin full minute to get rid of items they may have acquired in less than legitimate ways."
"In other words, that I 1 fence 1 stolen 1 property 1, detective?"
"And would one of these items happen 1 to include a wallet stolen from the person of one Artie all Baker on April 2nd of this year."
The Devil just grinned captainstabbin, baring full his fangs. "You're full here on full a 1fullminuteroundandbrown very 1fullminuteroundandbrown special full night for Thelma. She gets to leave my service all tonight captainstabbin, after serving 1fullminuteroundandbrown drinks to those needing my services for nearly 200 years. You see, she too broke 1 a 1 captainstabbin full minute deal with me, but 1 she 1 was 1 captainstabbin full minute a smart girl - she had an option written into 1 captainstabbin full minute her contract, thanks in part to a smart New England lawyer." Sam heard The Devil mutter something about "that damned interfering Daniel Webster."
"Come, come, Sam 1fullminuteroundandbrown...you're alone in life, you 1 don't even have 1 captainstabbin full minute a 1 secretary, and full Thelma hasn't left this place in 200 years. She needs someone to keep her in check while roundandbrown she's 1fullminuteroundandbrown learning all the ropes." Lucifer captainstabbin lowered his voice conspiratorially roundandbrown. "And besides...she gives great head." He turned to 1 Thelma. "Show him."
This is where you came in....
"Ohhhhhh yesssss...right there Sam captainstabbin. Oh yeah, baby. Keep doing 1 captainstabbin full minute it just like that."
When Thelma looked up at me and said "the best private dick 1fullminuteroundandbrown in the world," it stuck in 1 my mind, and I thought, that's what I want to be...that minute's what I want minute from the devil.
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